November 2008

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Proposition 8

I can't believe we still live in such a prejudice society ....

Do we take like that much for granted that we fuss about the sexual preference of another human being? There is so much suffering and death but there needs to be an implementation of another restriction to our human right to choose who we love? Give me a break. This is ludicrous.

Never let anyone or any institution tell you who you can choose to be with for your eternity. Don't feed into it and just GET MARRIED. It may not be the conventional way, but think outside of the box, make your own contract with your own vows. Tab into some creativity and choose a person you admire that will marry you. You don't need any other injunction, but your own. I know there's more to it, as far as benefits etc, but this can be a start.

I know it seems odd and idealistic, but life is what you make it...and it is your canvas, so PAINT!

Suzana

Times of Change

Well, I must say I am pleased to see that the people of America have announced their arrival for change, especially the 18-29 age group. According to CBC reports this was the best turn-around rate in 44 years with 64.1 % of eligible voters cast ballots.

Obama has so much clean up to do and I hope the people give him that chance without focusing on the colour of his skin - this is not a black, white or race issue..this is about representing the American people the best possible way. Hopefully this will dissipate some of the resentment most countries have for the U.S. I believe Obama will be tested in many ways and I also believe he has the stability and confidence to lead the country in the right direction as long as the honesty with the American people are always at surface. People are aware now more than ever, and cannot be underestimated. The people are the power for change and peace.

We never know what life will throw us, but this is a very momentous time in history. When I see promises fulfilled and positive action taking place, I will respect Obama - let us see what happens.

Have a wonderful day!!

Change is Constant

I have a confession to make, I am horrible with routine and I believe that is apparent with my blogging. I am going to try to be more active, but I have to buy a new computer first as for the time being I am using the library Internet.

I have another excuse..we are creating the new album! I am so excited about this project. If I had to give some description to it, I would say colourful with a pinch of edge. We are aiming for a cd release party in early spring of 2009, and I assure it is a show you will not want to miss.

After my journey in Brazil I have definitely been more focused and sure of my goals. Sometimes we are so indulged in what we think we are supposed to do we lose the magic of the process. I would say the business aspect of being a singer had taken over and my energy was being split many ways, now I sing and co-write with my two great friends Mike Dell and, the new addition, Randall Savoie. The three of us have a great dynamic and I can't wait to share it with the world.

I hope this blog finds you well and please never hesitate to post a message.

Simply Survival

First, I want to say Happy Birthday to my friend Whiteny Dell!!!!

Easter is a time most celebrated by the Brasilian people other than Carnival. People go to church everyday, if not several times a day. During Holy Thursday people purchase beans and rice and hand it out to the poor. Today, we had 3 kids clapping (Brasilian way of knocking) and begging for food. Two 11 year old and one 5 year old. So Clarice, my wonderful friend, gathered all of our left overs from lunch; potatoes, beans and squash, and put in a dish for them. I went out to greet them and I recognized one of the kids from the school I work at. I watched them plunge their spoons into their dish of mixed food and devouring every bit. They were sitting on the ground without hesitation. They were filthy from head to toe with their hair knotted and the saddest faces.

So, once they were done, I told them to come in the house. They walked in slowly while gazing at everything in the house. When they passed the TV .. one of them pointed and giggled in excitement. We went to the back room and I gathered soap, shampoo and a big fat comb for big hair like mine and I started the party. They each took a shower and giggled the whole time...he he Then I shampooed and conditioned their hair with the best stuff I could find. I combed every knot out gently, all the while asking them about heir family, friends, and their favorite subjects. One of the girls, Valerie, has 10 brothers and sisters and her favorite subject is math.

I went into my suitcase to look for some clothes I could give and a cockroach appeared EWWWWW..I tossed it out and still did not have the courage to kill it. I pulled out some clothing and gave it to them...

Just before they left, Valerie said ´give me a pencil´and I looked at her gently and said ´is that how you ask for things? How about please?´..so she repeated the question to only appease me and to get a pencil..but not because she understood. I realized that learning etiquette was not their priority, it´s simply survival . I had to catch myself with my impatience and be compassionate. I just pictured my mother giving me her gypsy eyes with her left brow raised in disapproval HAHA - the good old days.

I can´t believe how much I have learned in these past 2 months. I still have 10 days and I am going to enjoy every bit of it.

Thank you for reading.

Suzana

Lucy

A few of my friends mentioned to me that they were going to see an indigenous healer, who was originally from the Amazon, named Lucy. As soon as they told me that, my instinct told me I had to go. So, I went out for lunch with some friends and then took a bus to my destination. I arrived at 4 :00 pm. Anybody that wants to have a consultation with Lucy has to arrive at 6:30 am in the morning and book for later that day, if you come any later - most likely you will not get a spot.

I arrived without making an appointment, like I said, 4 pm that day. There were four ladies plus myself waiting. I wanted a consult but I would not be unhappy if I didn´t get one because she had it set the way she did for a reason and that was fine. When the secretary saw me she asked if I wanted to see Lucy - I said yes. She said only if someone cancels, which was more than fair. I knew I was meant to be there. Anyway, another rule is that you have to be patient because she takes as long as she needs to talk with each person. So, we all waited patiently and I watched ´Edward Scissor hands´in Portuguese. A few hours later a woman had decided she waited long enough - so she left. That meant I was in. I felt so grateful and calmly knew that was the way it was meant to be.

It felt worth it already that I waited for 4 hours.As I walked into her humble room I noticed how simple it was. An ordinary kitchen table in a large plain white room with nothing standing out. Not a picture, nor plant or coffee machine. It was as simple as could be. I had heard so much about her work and how miraculous she has been for so many peoples lives...I don´t know what I was expecting, but her energy was a light to be unforgotten.

Anyway, I sat down across from her. Her beautiful green, hazel eyes were set far apart on her face.. soft and gentle. She had so many profound wrinkles on her face as if every wrinkle represented a human life she has saved with her healing. Although she seemed thin and frail she was ready to go. I focused while she whispered her instincts about my health. I had a friend close by to catch anything I couldn´t, just to be safe. She would go through this thin book, that I assumed she put together,..they were different pages with an array of cells in different order. She would close her eyes and place her index finger and thumb together while creating a figure 8 like symbol and whispered her words.

She told me I had yellow fever, malaria and the northeast virus. While she spoke a young girl to the left of her would write everything down that I needed to know to heal. She said I needed to take care of these viruses first, than return after the Easter holiday so she could speak to me about another issue that was significant. I felt very curious about this request. I am not the type of person that can wait when someone tells me they need to say something important - I beg until I find out. But, I had to think about the fact that I had these viruses in my body and I needed to be rid of them. I was sent off to purchase some medicinal herbs from her pantry and off I went. I am still extremely curious as to what she needs to talk to me about but I must wait. I will be seeing her again on the 24th of March.

I can´t tell you how right this feels that I am seeing her...and we will just have to wait and see.

Besides that!

I was invited to go to a theater show downtown Fortaleza. It was about a 40 minute bus ride to the theater and what a ride it was.

There were over 15 dances performed from African , Indian, Forro, Capoiera etc. It was incredible to watch. It was interesting for me because I go to step out of this reality into another one where many Brasilians live happily and comfortably. I confess, I really liked it..and it made me think that I would spend some glorious time upon my arrival to Toronto in more dance and music performances.

Thank you for reading

,,,

Marianna

Every Thursday morning I take a motorcycle taxi to the school I teach at for 3 dollars. It is well worth the ride because the bus system is a roller coaster ride..you go in with clean clothes and come out with a few bruises and smelling like you´ve worked on the farm all day in the beating hot sun. I still take the bus for the experience..but I make sure I have no where to go afterward.

I have really become accustomed to Brasil. I love the kids and they show me love every time they see me. I truly adore them. Working here has definitely made me question if I should have my own children.

Today I taught dance with 4 girls today. Marianna was one of my students and is always 100% enthusiastic and excited to learn more about dance. I decided that I would support her to become a dance teacher and pay for her certificate to become an instructor. Marianna comes from a very poor family with lots of negativity. Since she was a child she has been physically abused and obviously feels unloved. When I see her dance, I can see the light in her eyes..and she completely escapes into her perfect world. Marianna wants to run her own studio one day, so lets get her started.

Anyone who would like to help out just send me an email and I will make sure to get back to you.

Thank you for reading.

Suzana

Pipa - Kite

Today I worked with the children and focused on family...

Each child painted a picture of their family. It was a very interesting observation for me because most of the pictures told me that these kids are being raised by their grandparents or by a single parent.

Jonatan is a young boy who wanted to paint two pictures..so I let him paint two. The first picture was with his whole family and then the second picture was with him and his father only. I know for a fact Jonatan does not have a father in his life..but he wishes he did.

The children were so great to work with..they behaved so well..much better than I did when I was their age. Some kids took the whole 2 hours to do their painting.

You can tell so much by how the children work when they are creating little masterpieces. One of the questions I got asked by these two 8 year old twins as they pointed to their picture was `Is this ugly?´. And I have observed these twins a few times and I noticed they would have finished a great drawing and then they would redraw it over and over again. Perhaps, they are perfectionists? But to ask if it is ugly? I didn´t want to start analyzing but it was apparent to me that they are not told enough how great their work is. So, I looked at their work and said ´Ugly? are you crazy..it´s beautiful´and they would laugh and I could see they felt so good about their work. After that they would simply call me to show their art..and it was my place to tell them that it was great.

It is important to validate a child's hard work with appreciating..even if you think its the ugliest thing you have ever seen...understand that they love it and its about them not you.

Thanks for reading

New Living Space

I have moved to a new living space to have a different experience.

So far I love it. I am living with Sister Mona and Sister Clarice..they are exceptional women. They are very open minded and completely accept my beliefs without judgment.

The kids in the neighbourhood performed a song, dance and presented a card upon my first night. At the end of their performance I went over to my toy bag, that I had brought from Canada, and had them choose 2 items each. One from an accessory bag..another with random toys (skipping rope, robots etc). The first bag had shiny hair clips, colourful elastics etc...and out of all the items, two of the girls chose a toothbrush. That was very interesting to me..I looked at them as if they had made a mistake. The simple item we get from our dentist for free, or buy at a local drugstore for $2.25, obviously, has become another lesson for me.

The second bag had skipping ropes, markers, figurines ... and the 4 of them chose a pencil each. Simple as that. Not the glitter lipstick, skipping rope or markers....a pencil.

I hugged them and off they went outside to play.

I went to observe their play, and I noticed they had a bag they were throwing around, so I asked them what they were doing. They were playing dodge ball with a chip bag stuffed with garbage. They turned a chip bag into a ball...as best they could. So, the first thing I did today was walk to the local store and bought them a beach ball to play with..and we played dodge ball till my clothes were soaked with sweat..which doesn't take very long in Brasil because its so HOT! (there´s a lot of balls in that sentence HA!)

I noticed their senses are so much more present. These kids have nothing..so when you offer them something ´luxurious´ like a pencil..they become very appreciative.

I know these girls will guard these pencils in a safe place and think to only use it on a special occasion..like I think to decorate my eyes on a special night out.

Thank you

Suzana

Week Splendor

Well there´s a good excuse for my absence in the blog - my mother came to visit!

I have to say it was perfect having my mother here for 2 weeks. It has been a long time since I have had the chance to spend quality time with her. That includes Canada where we have such busy lives..and it was also wonderful to have a break in between my work..so I could recharge.

I followed my mother as if I were an infant again..I loved being around her. She has taught me how to be extremely independent and sometimes it can come across as distant but those who know me, know that I adore all of those who are in my life.  I value this trait because I have learned more about who I am as an individual. Enjoying my own company has taught me to recognize mt negativity when I feel it..and it also has developed my instincts, which is very important to me. While I still encompass the fact that we are all connected even when we don't feel like we are.

I took 4 days off from teaching and I feel a bit guilty but it was good for me because I really look forward to seeing the kids again. I needed to step away from the impoverished frequency to understand my ground. Staying in a simple hotel with my mother brought up some distraught emotions, like the one I mentioned a few seconds ago - guilt. I got to swim everyday, go out to dinner, shop ..and afterward I felt empty. But I realized that it was the emotion I was spewing while I was shopping, things are cheaper because our dollar was worth more and I had to control myself. Why did I need to buy another pair of shoes? because the price is right? because it camouflages the fact that I have ugly feet (lol)? because I have the power buy? It just adds more things to my closet.

Material possessions mean nothing - love is everything. The kind of love without possession, without jealousy, just whole hearted, unconditional love. I still shopped. I let the suns rays seduce my skin with the thought that I would look better - and I enjoyed every bit of it. I am going to leave it at that. It does not good for the poor if I feel guilt or shame and especially no good for my heart.

Thank you for reading

Suzana

Courtesy

My time has been flying ...

I took a bus to the center of the city today. While I was on the bus there were no seats available so I stood up. A woman offered to place my bags on her lap because she was sitting down. But, that is 100% normal here..I think it is very courteous...

Today, I purchased sandals and clothes for Anna´s kids. Sister Mona purchased hammocks for the kids to sleep in because the mother had burned them all. After we shopped all day for the kids, we went straight to their house and gave them their new items. The excitement was very apparent..the older kid, Daniel, showed me his school work. He loves math..and has learned a bunch of english words he was eager to share with me. At the end of the visit Daniel told me he loved me in english. I didn´t know what to say so I just hugged and kissed him.

I bought a hammock for myself...once you are in a hammock,there's no going back..it is SO comfortable!

Some new news is that my mother arrives in Fortaleza, Brasil Wed morning at 3:30 in the morning. I look forward to seeing her, and spending some quality time.

Thank you for reading.

Suzana